Merrrry Christmas! For those of you who celebrate Christmas and exchange gifts with people you love or feel obligated to buy presents for, this can be a trying time. “Do I buy the red aloe-infused fuzzy sock or the green one?” “Will Bonny Bumpkin appreciate the Harry Potter wand or the Transformer’s Scene It?” “Do I get Aunt Marge the spandex shorts that she asked for or would it be too unkind to the world?”
It can be hard to think up of present ideas. So I’ve written a guide for you:
For the Germ-a-phobe
A hazmat suit.
And if you want to go the extra mile, fill their stocking with disinfectant wipes and Lysol. It would also be nice to pair this gift with the movie War of the Worlds, and remind them that germs are a part of our ecosystem and if they kill every germ on the planet we’ll have no protection from extraterrestrial invaders.
For the Animal Lover
Matching toothbrush set with their dog. Because nothing is quite so bonding as walking into the bathroom and saying, “Hey! I have that same toothbrush.” This is also a funny present to give your younger brother and his new girlfriend you’ve just met for the first time.
For the Fix-It Guy
Give him your broken furniture. After all, he’s probably fixed everything in his own house. Nothing will give him a bigger smile than to receive something else to fix. So just wrap up that chair that your teen’s friend broke during the HALO party, and tie a little card around it that says, “Tis more blessed to give than to receive. Please have this done by February.”
For the spoiled kid who has everything
Give him a poster of Dudley Dursley and Harry Potter and put them up in his room. “Which one do ya wanna be, kid?”
For the Friend who keeps sending you Farmville requests
A live Chicken
What would be cooler than to receive an ACTUAL chicken to take care of, instead of all the cyber-ones they’re always posting about?! I’m sure by now they’ve learned what it takes to keep a chicken happy and healthy after all these years, right?
This might also be a good present for Comic Con Cousin or World of Warcraft co-Worker with a note about how it’s good to take care of something breathing every once in a while, but that might be considered animal cruelty.
For Comic Con Cousin
Star Trek Plushies. So then they’ll have some friends to talk to! And something to keep their bed warm at night.
For the blogger Mom (aka, yours truly)
A keyboard for each of my kids, so they’ll stop climbing on my lap and using mineadklc;djaios. Oops. Sorry, that was Lilia trying to make her mark on the blogging world.
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I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
This blog will be quiet for the next few weeks, I’ll be traveling and celebrating and drinking eggnog.
Who did I leave out? Have any more gift suggestions?
Arindam
/ December 15, 2011Great suggestions for gifts. :) I liked the idea of giving gift as a live chicken a lot. :) I have to search someone to gift it. Great post. You did a wonderful job with this post.
Chase McFadden
/ December 15, 2011The chicken idea has real potential. Spandex? That’s always a tough call.
EllieAnn
/ December 15, 2011The holidays are definitely trying times. ;)
eden baylee
/ December 15, 2011I had 2 pet chickens as a kid, no joke! They are wonderful gifts. I raised them from chicks until they got too big to fit in a cardboard box.
Ok, truth is, my mother started eyeing them for the next meal, so I gave them to a friend who took them to her uncle’s farm. To this day, I miss them.
eden
heatherishither
/ December 15, 2011I need the keyboard, too.
susielindau
/ December 15, 2011These are such great suggestions especially the chicken for friends that keep requesting me! Hahaha!
JRD Skinner
/ December 15, 2011Great list – although you could also ship off your old broken keyboards to Fix-It Guy.
Also, I’d be pretty pleased to find a chicken beneath the tree, although I’d prefer it roasted.
thoughtsappear
/ December 15, 2011I need the Happy Bunny keyboard. Need it!
educlaytion
/ December 15, 2011I’ve been wondering what to do with all my broken furniture. Great tips Ellster.
Howlin' Mad Heather
/ December 15, 2011Yeah, these Farmville douchebags should try taking care of an ACTUAL farm animal for a change. Happy Holidays to ya!
Stacy Green
/ December 15, 2011LMAO, great post, Ellie! Christmas shopping gets harder every year. My child is spoiled, and my parents don’t need anything. And I’m thinking the Happy Bunny keyboard is mine. It’s perfect:)
Marcy Kennedy
/ December 15, 2011LOL!! I’m going to be laughing over this one for awhile. My husband totally thinks I need a hazmat suit with how often I wash my hands.
K.B. Owen
/ December 15, 2011Oohh, Star Trek plushies!! Have a great Christmas, Ellie!
Jennifer Joseph
/ December 15, 2011I’ve tried the keyboard thing but it’s not good enough for my daughter because she wants to help me do my work. :) Am in love with the live chicken idea.
BROOKEandMCKENZIE
/ December 15, 2011Hilarious, the one about Farmville was especially my favourite; how annoying is that and seeing that in my mini feed all the time.
Happy holidays!
brookeandmckenzie.wordpress.com
August McLaughlin
/ December 16, 2011Ha! Love the doggie toothbrush idea…and all of your commentary.
J Holmes
/ December 16, 2011Christmas has lost a bit of it’s luster for me. My kids are now old enough to sleep in on Christmas morning. I still need to get my wife something.
Piper Bayard
/ December 18, 2011Lol. Ellie, those are great ideas. I LOVED the broken chair. My son had a HALO party back when HALO 3 came out, and his friend DID break my favorite chair. Please send me the address of that carpenter who has too much time on his hands. :)
Safe travels, friend, and Merry Christmas.
Jess Witkins
/ December 19, 2011Ok, I think I snorted when I saw the gift for the friend who sends you Farmville requests. I love it!
P.S. Hope I get the hazmat suit! *squeal*