Tall Tale Tuesday: Plant Some Ideas

INTRODUCING the winners of last Tall Tale Tuesday’s lottery!

The lucky twelve:

#1: David N. Walker makes monkey puzzles out of monkey puzzle trees. His puzzles are getting trickier and trickier, as the apes are more intelligent with every puzzle they finish. They’re even able to solve Rubiks cubes in less than 4 minutes. Does that make them smarter than me? (don’t answer that)

#2: When Tiffany A. White learned that mesquite bushes’ roots span miles and miles, she sent a hurricane blast of wind over a mesquite tree field, and the earth around the roots blew away until it revealed the labyrinth of roots, in which she made into a nature preserve for her pet praying mantis. Signs all over the field say, “NO BULLFROGS ALLOWED.”

#3 & #4: Never forget the day the sentient venus fly traps rose from the center of the earth and started feeding on humanity. Never forget how Eden Rebekah and Howlin’ Mad Heather took a jet plane and a bomb of the most powerful herbicide, 2,4-dichlorophenoxy acetic acid, and flew down the cavern, never to be seen again. Never forget they are the reason you are alive today.

#5: The demi-goddess Coleen was given an adorable chia pet for her 704th birthday from her dad, Hermes. She named her pet The Himilayas. It’s so old now, it has white hair.

What a cute pet!

#6: Susie Lindau was the first of them, the Poison Ivies. She’s the one who wrote the manual on seduction and fatal kisses and how-to-stay-away-from-men-you-like-so-you-won’t-kill-them. It’s rumored she was the mentor for the most famous Poison Ivy of them all, Pamela Isley, the villain who fought Batman.

#7: Eden has a house made of horsetails. She lives in the candy cane forest, just south of molasses swamp. She used to live in the candy castle with her brother, King Kandy, but she got cavities and diabetes from all the second-hand sugar dust in the air so now she lives alone.

#8: August, who is an Egyptian crocodile hunter, decided to take an adventurous trip to New York City area. She kayaked down Niagara Falls, parachuted off the Empire State Building, and went deep sea fishing for sharks. When asked what the scariest part of her trip was, she replied, “the taxi cab ride from the airport.”

#9: JRD Skinner survives off cactus. He makes food, shelter, and clothes from the prickly plants. He’s been living in the Sonoran Desert for three years now, his only contact with the outside world is his iMac computer and wireless internet connection. When asked why he’d do such a thing, he replied, “because my aunt told me, ‘no one could survive off cactus’ so I had to prove her wrong.”

#10: Marilag, the Native American princess, doesn’t weave cloth she weaves fortune plants. She doesn’t mold clay pots she molds clouds. And she doesn’t carve wood she carves mountains.

#11: Renee, the super popular pop singer brought dandelions back into fashion when she wore a dress to the Emmys that was made entirely out of dandelions.

#12: Tameri owns a seed shop. She sells seeds of hope, seeds of diamond in the rough, seeds of spontaneous joy, seeds of witty comebacks, and seeds of magnanimity. But that’s not all. In the back alley she also sells seeds of agony, seeds of rage, and seeds of spontaneous bowel movements. Yeah. You want to stay on her good side.

Well that was fun!

Thanks to Catherine Johnson, Lancelot Schaubert, Prudence MacLeod, El, Gene Lempp, Lynn Kelley, and K.B. Owen.

Next time we have Tall Tales, SPECIAL EDITION. So hang on to your hats!

About these ads
Leave a comment

31 Comments

  1. First of all, I would totally wear that dandelion dress. Do they make it in my size? Second, Eden’s write-up is hilarious; I hope they have insulin in her house in the candy cane forest. Thanks EA. What a great way to start the day!

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  May 8, 2012

      Of course they make the dandelion dress in your size! They made it especially for you!

      Reply
    • I want one too!

      Reply
    • I didn’t know you were a singer. You’ve been hiding this talent from us.

      Reply
    • You definitely should wear that dandelion dress, Renée! Ecocouture of the highest caliber!

      Don’t worry about me. Since K.K. got out of the picture, things have been pretty peaceful. Though we probably shouldn’t talk about what’ been going on between Lord Licorice and I…. 8-)

      Reply
  2. Hahaha, Ellie! Love the idea of the Himalayas being one huge chia pet. Great tales, as usual. Thanks for the shout out, too! :)

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  May 8, 2012

      Best chia pet ever. But it takes a heckuva lot to water it.

      Reply
      • Yah I’m with Kathy. I saw the photo and was like “Chia pet?…where’s this going?” You had me cracking up at it’s white hair!

        Reply
  3. Awesome as usual Ellie Ann! Where do you find these amazing photos? You should write a children’s book. You could do a whole series based on these Tall Tales!

    Reply
  4. Another great episode of Tall Tales! Your Marilag section is quite poetic and lovely. I can totally see August kayaking over Niagara Falls. Thanks for the fun on this dreary Tuesday morning ~ hey I see the sun is coming out. It must be from all the smiles your post is bringing folks!

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  May 8, 2012

      That’s so sweet, Tameri! I think it’s more because Princess Marilag decided to pull the sun up with her reeeeally long fishing line.

      Reply
  5. Yay, let’s have a dandelion dress party! I particularly love August’s story. You are awesome Ellie!

    Reply
  6. Coleen Patrick

     /  May 8, 2012

    Awesome!! You are so creative Ellie-thanks for including me in the fun :)

    Reply
  7. Monkey puzzle tree? I’d never heard it it…and it’s awesome! Thanks, Ellie!

    Reply
    • Heather, it really exists. They have one in Buchart Gardens near Victoria, BC. Don’t know where you live, but it’s worth a trip of thousands of miles to see Buchart.

      Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  May 8, 2012

      I’d never heard of it either, before David told me. So cool!

      Reply
      • Ooh, just did a Google search on the tree. Very odd and textural ….

        Reply
  8. I will never cease to be amazed at how you come up with this. I especially loved the chai pet mountains going white with age and Tameri selling her different seeds. I’ll need to remember not to make her angry :)

    Reply
  9. Special Edition? I can’t wait!!

    As always, Ellie — you are fantastic. So creative….

    Reply
  10. Another fun tall tales. Actually I learned a lot about plants. And speaking of a dandelion dress, did you see that old Project Runway episode where they had to make dresses out of plants? Some of them did actually look awesome!

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  May 8, 2012

      Of course I watched that Project Runway! LoL. I love that show.

      Reply
  11. That cab ride must have been some horror! (I think PTSD swallowed it.) And good thing I remembered my floaties for the rest of that trip. Now to head over to my pal Coleen’s with a brush and sparkles to dazzle of her chia’s tresses. I’m bringing you, Susie and Jess, just cuz. Thanks for another awesome edition! Some of the funnest posts to read. ;)

    Reply
  12. Awesome tales! My favorite is the Himalayas chia pet. Couldn’t stop laughing at that one. :-) The dandelion dress is awesome! Probably tok her forever to make.

    Reply
  13. Karen McFarland

     /  May 11, 2012

    Thank you so much for posting on our wana1011 FB page Ellie! I can see that I’m missing out on all the fun! Great photos! Wherever did you find them? I’m coming back to hang out with you all here! :)

    Reply

Your thoughts on the matter...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 396 other followers

%d bloggers like this: