Note: this was my second post of all time. I’m serving it up cold for you today. It’s called:
The Pee Pee Dance
‘Tis Wednesday, when I serve up some words with international flavor, or anything that has to do with the world. Like atlas’. Or thumbs. Most people in the world have thumbs.
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We were touring the Vatican. Two of my sisters, my older cousin, and me. My neck hurt from trying to decipher which statue was Saint Luke, my favorite apostle. But frankly, all the statues looked the same when they are 450 ft. above you. We’d been walking all day, but were hastening to the courtyard so we could be blessed by the Pope. I’ve never been one to turn down a free blessing.
Our eyes suddenly caught on a woman. She was standing in line. The line of all lines. The one to the bathroom. Now, if you’ve ever been to a major sightseeing location, you know that you can never ever just walk into a bathroom stall. You must wait. That’s why I recommend using adult diapers if you’re serious about keeping an itinerary! Anyways, this woman had her hair in a beautiful chignon, wore a black tailored skirt suit, patent leather heels, and she was doing the pee pee dance.
Oh you know the dance!
knees together, shift from side to side, clenched buttocks, eyes frantic and watering, and (if you’re under the age of 6) hands grabbing crotch, or (if you’re older than 6) hands trying not to grab your crotch in an effort to stop the impending horror story from becoming a reality.
My cousin laughed and said, “The pee pee dance in the same in every language.”
Wise words.
Everyone’s done the pee pee dance a few dozen times in their lives. It’s something that unites us all.
I mean, it doesn’t matter who you are . . . if the stall is closed the stall is closed. And it doesn’t matter how rich, powerful, beautiful, or infamous you are . . . if ya gotta go ya gotta go!
They better wrap this up in like, five seconds or I’m gonna pee my pants on live TV.
Seriously? A line that long at the Oscar’s?
OMG! Too late!
Gotta pee so bad I- oh NO! I really hope this is just a dream.
The pee pee dance kinda reminds me of the fable of King Canute of England. Every day, people lavished praise on him.”You are the most powerful person on the earth.” “Everything you say comes to pass.” “Your wisdom is unbound.” “The world is at your command.” . . . but one day King Canute got tired of hearing it all.
“Do you really think I’m all powerful?” he asked his advisors.
“Yes! Everything is under your command, my liege.”
“Humph,” he said. “Come to the sea with me.” So the advisors, the servants, and King Canute went to the sea, where they set his chair right beside the coming tide.
He looked at the waves, “I order you to halt!”
Everyone was silent, except for the waves breaking against the sand.
“Tide!” he said. “I order you to go back into the sea!” But the tides just splashed against his royal robes. He looked at the advisors, and said, “that’s what I call case and point, hommies.” (or said something to that effect)
So, remember that the rulers & celebrities of the world are only as powerful as the person standing before them in the bathroom line. All must dance before the great, closed, stall door.
Matthew Bryant (@MattBryantDFW)
/ May 30, 2012My inner fourteen year old is amused. Probably because I just had a discussion last night about wetting the bed (or somebody else’s)
Tiffany A White
/ May 30, 2012This is great, Ellie! It’s a universal language no doubt… LOL
Tori Nelson
/ May 30, 2012The shot of the Beibs was the most horrific and hilarious thing I’ve ever seen.
August McLaughlin
/ May 30, 2012LOL! Fantastic post, Ellie. My grandmother called the pee pee dance the “babboo dance.” Because of her, so do I. My dog is doing the pee pee whine, which means I must be off to the park… ;)
John Holton
/ May 30, 2012The title of this alone had me laughing to the point of loss of bladder control.
Howlin Mad Heather
/ May 30, 2012Hahaha…love it! I especially love it when dogs do the pee pee dance. My shepherd would do it and he looked so ridiculous.
rich
/ May 30, 2012my daughter recently told me about walking somewhere, having to whizz badly, and stopping in the woods behind some trees to let it go. she was quite proud of herself.
Emma
/ May 30, 2012Ha ha, the dreaded pee pee dance.
Tameri Etherton
/ May 30, 2012This was awesome! Pee pee dance definitely is the same in every language.
Alarna Rose Gray
/ May 31, 2012The Great Leveller! Love it…:)