Tall Tale Tuesday: Where You From?

Well folks, the comments from last week have been discombobulated, hit on the head with a mallet, and thrown into a hurricane so they’re sufficiently randomized.

Now let me introduce you to the winning dozen:

#1: MJ Monaghan went to Kiribati and was turned into a monkey. Since then, he’s regularly blogged about the dangers of traveling to Kiribati, and posts terrible reviews of the place in Travel magazines.

“Looks like you’ve been to Kiribati lately, eh?”

#2: El, the famous cooking show personality, uses her old Barbies as kabob skewers for she says the plastic gives it “a full, smoky flavor.” That’s where the Australian saying, Throw another shrimp on the barbie, comes from.

#3: Lancelot has been brainwashed in the bowels of the Witch’s Castle in Ivria. It is said she uses snake eyes and Mermaid’s song, though no one who has been brainwashed by her has lived to tell the tale. Except one. The first time Lancelot remembered his name was the day the Mermaid felt remorse for her actions and sang a different tune. He got away. She didn’t. But that is the way of the world.

#4: Lower Slobbovia, despite popular references, is actually the most technologically developed country. Or, was. Slobbovians no longer live on this planet anymore. Except one. David N Walker was asked to stay and continue to spread rumors of their backwardness. He’s been a success.

#5: Domestic Goddess enjoys doing jazz dancing routines on the wings of planes over her hometown of Bagan, Myanmar. After her show, she drops skittles on her adoring crowd.

 #6: K.B. Owen is a raspberry from the Southern Raspberry Sunshine Mountain, who successfully ended the war with the cream giants of the Northern Moonshine Valley by tearing down the Great Chocolate War that stood between them. Now, they are the best of friends.

#7: Gene climbed the cliffs of insanity, battle a giant throwing boulders, sword fought one of the best swordsmen of the century, and outwitted a crafty Cicilian to the death . . . all for a Klondike bar!

#8: JRD Skinner is the man from Liechtenstein who ate 47 raspberry and cream tarts in a row. His mother told him it would give him an apocalyptic stomachache. And she was right.

(yummy raspberry tart recipe)

#9: Susie saw a star fall from the sky. She tracked atop her Pegasus, using her Stardust Tracker 2000 all the way to Phillipines. When she discovered it was not just a star, but a very attractive young man star she immediately set about to protect him from the whiles of this sinful world. She was also happy to discover that a starkiss brought eternal youth. They’ve been living quite happily on their own private island for the past thousand years.

Maybe Stephanie Meyers got Stars and Vampire’s attributes confused.

 #10: Kim was the most famous Mountaineer in the age of mountaineers and she could fell three trees with one swing and wrestle a grizzly into submission in 2 minutes flat and jumps of waterfalls for fun. You can read about her adventures in her memoir, Paul Bunyan’s Tales (she went by a pseudonym.)

#11: Marilag is the goddess of Trinidad. She watches over it with care and loving, sending rain and sun and wind in form. She requires very little in return. Only gold pieces tossed to the wind ever Sunday and silver candles lit in her honor every Monday and a big dance every Tuesday and wine drunk in her honor every Wednesday. The people are more than happy to comply.

#12: Tameri didn’t just tightrope over Niagra falls. Not satisfactory enough for her, she then flew to Zimbabwe and tightroped across the Victorian Falls. A job well done, too!

Thanks also to August and Lynn for entering the lottery!

 So there you have it, folkies. Tall tales for your reading pleasure.

IF (and I mean when) you want to participate in NEXT tall tale tuesday, simply leave a random word in the comments. And I want total picked-out-of-the-hurrican randomness. :)

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34 Comments

  1. Remember the lesson folks, never mess with my Klondike bar *grins*

    Random word: eluvium.

    Reply
  2. That is, by far, the funniest link to my blog in the history of links to my blog!

    Random evil word: abderian

    Reply
  3. Cool stuff, Ellie! But I didn’t tear down the Chocolate Wall, I ATE through it…

    I got the impression that you really were in the mood for raspberries when you wrote this, LOL!

    Thanks for randomizing me this week! :D

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  June 19, 2012

      Yes! Raspberries are in season right now and SO delicious! I’m enjoying them =)

      Reply
  4. I LOVE man new man star! He is “hot!”
    Thanks for including me in another one of your fabulous Tall Tale Tuesdays! I can’t wait to see the book some day!

    Reply
  5. Larry Enright

     /  June 19, 2012

    I’m taking time out from digging out an old stump in the yard to dig this post!

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  June 19, 2012

      LoL! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. SO good to see you here, Larry!

      Reply
  6. Ellie, thank yos for ecognizing my tountry, me, and my bog.

    oo ooo oo ooo. Welsome to the tiny islands nation of Kiribati. *spoken in Jamaican-ish accent*

    Forry (woops, it’s so hard to fype when you hase monkey hands like me. oo o oo ooo

    Be very careful when vibining our islands, it can be bery dnagerous.

    hehehe, I mean oo ooo oo ooo.

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  June 19, 2012

      ahahahaha! It’s so hard living as a monkey once you’ve lived as a man. I’m sure the same is true vice-versa!

      Reply
  7. My monkey self forgot to include a random word:

    “The word is … CLAUSTRAL.” *in Password game show voice*

    Reply
  8. Brilliant, as always, but I think the real lesson here is not to go in against Gene Lempp when a Klondike is on the line.

    Hegemony!

    Reply
  9. Monkies and Barbies and Snakes, oh my! Thanks for including me in this awesome bunch of really great people. I’m not worthy.

    Well I thought about giving my favorite word “dandle” but the first word that actually came to mind was “eviscerate” and then I thought, “Hey, those could be fairly contradictory verbs. Hmm…”

    So here’s a challenge for you: dandle AND eviscerate. Consider this curve ball thrown.

    Reply
  10. The Slobbovians left me here because I was totally clueless to all their tech stuff.

    “Onomatopoeia.” he hissed as the flies buzzed around him.

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  June 19, 2012

      hehe. It’s hard to stay up with the times! Especially in a Slobbovian world.

      Reply
  11. Lucky Susie! And I love that shrimp on the barbie line – awesome! You have an amazing imagination Ellie!

    Reply
    • EllieAnn

       /  June 19, 2012

      Thanks so much, Catherine! It’s so fun, especially with such awesome subject matter as you lovelies.

      Reply
  12. So much fun! I was laughing through all of them. Your mind is a fabulous thing, Ellie!

    Random word? gaggle

    Although, now that Lance has thrown out dandle, that might be my new favorite word.

    Reply
  13. Another fave Tall Tale Tuesday! Anyone who blogs about Paul Bunyan is A-OK in my book!

    Random word: din

    Reply
  14. Oh, my… lots and LOTS of raspberries… and not a one for the performance, which was grand, as always. The way the cream slid over the glorious rosy humps and luscious crevices of the berries, filling them, heating them… Warm..hot, sparkling like the stars that they are…

    Oh, yeah… Um… “Withy”

    Reply
  15. Hey there… probably not the best place to put this, but I hope you don’t mind. Dropping by to let you know that I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award!

    http://authorashley.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/one-lovely-blog-award/#more-160

    Reply
  16. Haha, great stuff to brighten our day as always! Hmmm…I seem to have misplaced my “bumbershoot.” Anyone seen it?

    Reply
  17. Another great installment, Ellie Ann! Now I know what to get Gene for Christmas. lol Hope you’re having a great week!

    Reply
  18. As usual–brilliant. As to a random word?? Milarky!

    Reply
  19. Love it! Although I think my adoring fans may only be there for the skittles. My jazz dancing is rather comical.

    Reply
  20. I love your sparkly vampire. And I love the name Slobbovia. I think the reason why it’s a tech country is that they don’t want to do a lot of heavy lifting so they let the machines do the heavy lifting for them. :-)

    Reply
  21. Forgot. My random word is Hersheys.

    Reply

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