Tall Tale Tuesday: That's Not Random Hippopotamus

You’re back for more, ye scurvy sea rats?

Excellent. I have uses for you.

You’re fodder for my Tall Tale Tuesdays! And no one is safe from my lies. The first 12 to walk the plank, er . . . I mean, the twelve commenters who are in the spotlight this week are:

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#1: Heather Bumbershoot is actually the person who invented the bumbershoot, which is a recorder of bird calls and a shooter of bumbers. Bumbers are pictures. So, the bumbershoot actually turned out being a camera with a recording device in it. Which is a lot cooler than a camera.

A bumbographer

#2: Jess own a UFO/combine which is so big it’s used as a barn at night. She likes to create quite a din by sucking up her farm cows with her tractor beam in the dead of night, and depositing them willy nilly in the streets of L.A.

Jess creating a din

#3: Marilag is a bodybuilder that survives only on peanuts and Hershey’s candy bars. She wasn’t getting enough calories so she added Nutty Bars to the mix.

Female body builders. Just like body builders. Except female.

#4: August fought beside Aragorn in the battle of Pelennor fields, King Peter in the fight with the White Witch, and Ender Wiggin during the xenocide. After that she just sat in her Tardis and spent a few hundred years in meditation.

#5: K.B. Owen is the most famous author in the northern quadrant of the milky way. She’s very particular, however, and writes longhand using only ostrich feathers for quills and blackberry ink while sitting on a tightrope over a waterfall. Needless to say, her books are also very short.

#6: AuthorAshley only wears purple spandex and black aviator sunglasses. No matter what, no matter where, it’s her only outfit. It got kind of awkward when she wore as she ran a marathon in the morning then went to her cousin’s funeral that night. Especially since she only has one pair of clothes.

#7: Eden can miniaturize anything with her shrink gun. This of course makes her a master thief, and now she’s the mistress of many castles. And many landmarks (the mini Stonehenge holds up her dining room table). And for her bathroom? She has a miniature Victoria Falls with a withy forest outside the window. It’s the most lovely place to go pee.

#8: JRD Skinner prophecies the impending demise of the galactic hegemony. But since he was the intergalactic court jester, everyone thought his jokes were for naught. But they learned to take him seriously very quickly. Especially since the smoking gun that took the hegemony down was in his hand.

#9: Goddess taught all mankind to love each other by teaching them about sacrifice. And getting sufficient sleep. And staying humble. And looking at yourself in the mirror instead of showing others their flaws. And when I say “mankind” I really mean her husband.

#10: Susie memorized the entire Holy Bible and the entirety of Shakespeare’s works. But she can’t seem to remember where to put her keys, but has a thousand witty comebacks if you dare to make fun of her for it.

#11: Kim doesn’t only know how to blow the biggest bubble, she does it while unicycling on a tight rope fifteen feet in the air! And she does it while wearing a granny suit, which provides all kinds of abderianity and jocularity in her audiences.

#12: Gene is a hot air balloon chauffeur and he travels with Eluvium all over the world.

Thanks to Lancelot, Tameri, MJ, Larry Enright, David, Catherine, and Riffa

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Well that ye are, sea rats.

Don’t even think about jumping ship or I’ll throw ye in first. *rattles hook*

But if ye want to join in the tales next week then just leave your nickname in the comments.

Now give me that horizon!

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Posted by EllieAnn on July 3, 2012

http://ellieannsoderstrom.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/tall-tale-tuesday-thats-not-random-hippopotamus/