Olympic Sports That Didn’t Quite Make It


- Three Legged Races

“We feared those born with three legs would have too great an advantage.”

The dangerous side of three legged races (no one was harmed in the shooting of that photo)(I don’t think)

(photo by Simon Li)

- Blindfolded Skiing

“Too many skiers ended up buried face down in snowdrifts.”

- Ostrich Dressage

“The horses got jealous.”

(Photo by Hadsie)

- Synchronized Eating

“It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful the teams could simultaneously consume melons and Reuben sandwiches, but when it came to corn on the cob no one was Olympic quality. We’re waiting for someone good enough to represent the sport.”

- Bowling

“There was no smoking allowed on Olympic property.”

- Greased Pig Wrestling

“Wrestling Freestyle is close enough.”

- Costumed Fencing

“Everyone was fighting over who got to be Inigo Montoya.”

(photo by vmcampos)

- Fighter Jet Fights

“Jets are too expensive to send to the Olympics.”

- Competitive Beer Drinking

“The Irish had too great of an advantage.”


This was actually an Olympic Event until 1920. in 1908, the gold medal went to a squad made up of London’s police force.

(photo by eFF-bKK)

- Tiger Hunting in the Congo

“Deemed too dangerous.”

- Speed Recitation of the Iliad

“Deemed too dull.”

- Whip Marksmanship

“Deemed too manly.”

- Rope Climbing

“Deemed too simple.”

- Poodle Clipping

This was an actual event in the 1900 Paris, France Olympics. 6,000 people gathered to watch 128 competitors race to see who could clip the most poodles. Avril Lafoule won, clipping 17 poodles in 2 hrs. THAT’S A LOTTA POODLE FUR, dudes and dames!

Glenn the Poodle (photo by Dimidus)

- Competitive Twirling Around Bats

“This would be my personal favorite, as the comedic value would be priceless. Just what the Olympics need to loosen all those tense nerves.”

Bat Spinning. Just like baseball except . . . funny.

(photo by mtsofan)

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Leave a comment


  1. Nice – but The Jets were too expensive to send? Dang, now The Sharks are going to mop up at the Street Gang Dance-Off.

  2. I can’t imagine why some of those events aren’t Olympic sports. Personally, I think blind folded skiing would be a hit.

    • EllieAnn

       /  July 30, 2012

      wouldn’t it, though? We’d just put them on the top of a mountain and watch.

  3. Stephanie

     /  July 30, 2012

    We don’t have tigers here in Congo! We do have guerrillas though.

  4. Hahaha! I’d also like to see Plastic Lightsaber Duelling…you’d get added points for your use of appropriate sound effects.

  5. We call that the “dizzy bat race.” It’s quite humorous, actually.

  6. Hey Ellie, Just now getting caught up on my favorite blogs after being on vacation. This was a hoot! I like the bat spinning best, I think.

  1. The End is Near (and we deserve it). . . . Is Pole Dancing an Olympic Sport? « Author Piper Bayard

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