Tall Tale Tuesday: Let’s Go To The Movies!

These stories are in no ways truthful, and are not based on real live events. If you think I’m writing about you, I’m not. I’m writing about *points* them. ;)

Here are the twelve lottery wieners … uh, I mean winners from last week!

K.B. Owen owns a bar in Casablanca, Nebraska called K.B.’s Cafe Americain. I think she got a little confused about the location of her favorite movie.

David N. Walker, an unknown computer hacker, hunted all the Bourne agents down and tracked all of their movements. Strangely enough, they’re all either helpers at Disneyworld or Rocky Mountain Rangers in Canada, which make me think their antics in the films were somewhat exaggerated.

mypenandme actually trained the pegasus in Clash of the Titans, but she said she wouldn’t work with the Titan as it was “too moody and had bad breath.”

What happened to Harry Lime? That’s what pulp fiction novelist JRD Skinner needed to find out. He not only discovered Harry Lime had become a chain smoker, a Wiccan, and an avid fan of blue cheese . . . he had also made enemies that ran him over. Whether it involved the black market blue cheese tycoons … you’ll have to find out in Skinner’s next novel.

August is the only person to ever win a dozen Oscar awards. In all different categories. And all for the same movie.

Renee body doubles for such actresses as Angelina Jolie, Emily Blunt, Emily Mortimer, Kiera Knightly, Maryl Streep, Eva Mendes, Reese Witherspoon, Natalie Portman, and Kim Kardashian. She’s willing to do ANYthing for the shoot. Even paint a mole on her butt.

Whose body is this, really?

Catherine is an extremely accurate shot. She never misses. That’s why they always hire her to stay on the sets of sports movies to make shot after shot (in Hoosiers) and throw after throw (in We Are the Titans) and hit after hit (in A League of Their Own) for the cameras.

Nothin’ but net. Over and over again.

Lorne and Lise never miss a premiere in LA’s Grauman’s Chinese Theater, not because they are famous movie stars, but because they own the joint.

DSavannah is the set designer for Christopher Nolan. She met him in grade school, when someone stole her PB&J and he followed the crumbs back to the thief and rescued her sandwich, and they’ve been partners ever since. She said Memento was easiest to set, The Prestige was funnest, and Inception was hardest, due to the rotating sets.

Don’t steal PB&J’s – or he’ll hunt you down

Susie is one of the most beloved actresses on the stage. The theater is her life. Countless directors and producers have pursued her, begging her on their knees to be in their movies, but she always refuses. “If anyone respects true art,” she says, “They have to see me in flesh and blood. Everything else is a mockery of performance.”

An idealist, I know. But she’s so good at what she does you can’t help but respect it.

Alex is the steadiest camera man in the world. He’s so good he can rappel off a tower to get the perfect shot, or be shot out of a cannon, or skydive, or hang off of the rungs of a helicopter. However, he won’t do undersea shots … those scare him.

(photo is awesome cameraman Reinis Rutentals)

Marilag can quote every movie every made in the 60’s, 80’s, and 00’s. She’s really entertaining to go on hikes with, not so much when she’s quoting the campy horror films . . . but a delight when she gets to Airplane! and The Important of Being Earnest.

Thanks also to Gigantor, Tameri, Lancelot, and MJ for entering the lottery. Bring your loaded dice next time.

Leave a comment! If you do, you’ll get a tall tale entirely your own. And I promise it will all be lies about you. =)

Simply leave a comment with a color.

Cheerio, peeps.

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  1. Do I need to roll 6s? I’ll come better prepared next time! These are a lot of fun to read.

    • EllieAnn

       /  August 7, 2012

      Thanks, Gigantor. Good luck in the lottery next time. I hope you win. Though my bias does not change the numbers one bit. Unless you bribe me. ;)

  2. EA … I think I’ve been to that bar in Casablanca, Nebraska! I had my loaded dice with me when I was shooting craps.

    Color me GREEN, with envy! :)

    • EllieAnn

       /  August 7, 2012

      I bet the end of that Casablance story was ‘How I ended up in jail in Casablance, NE.”

  3. Well that sums it up well! Ha! :-)

  4. Reinis is trying to steal my thunder there. I took that picture of him while eating a p,b & j, cutting my own hair and writing a 30,000 bit of flash fiction with my trusty quill and parchment. And you’d be scared of the ocean too if those darn krill swarmed your third cousin twice removed until she drowned!

    • EllieAnn

       /  August 7, 2012

      You cut your own hair? You’re amazing, Alex. So sorry to hear about your cousin. That’s rough. I hate krill.

  5. I love that Pegasus, but don’t you think it would look better….lilac?

    • EllieAnn

       /  August 7, 2012

      Lilac! You’re totally right! It totally captures Pegasus’ personality.

  6. I won the lottery! Yeah!
    Ellie! This is so great! You used my mantra did you know that? “I am so good at what I do!” Hahaha!

  7. Love that you appreciate my hotness factor! ;-)

    At some point, that delusion will have to end.

    Can I be orange-polka dots?

    GREAT question on the blog for TechSupport! I’ll link up when his responses go live!

    • EllieAnn

       /  August 7, 2012

      You’re hot. End of story.
      And you can be orange-polka dots.
      I’d be really impressed if TechSupport can answer that riddle. But it wouldn’t be the first time he’s impressed me.

    • Of course you’re hot, Renee.

  8. You mean the bar isn’t supposed to be in Nebraska…?? Loved the tale, Ellie! (And I always suspected Renee was Jolie’s body double). Thanks for another fab tale!

    I’ve always loved royal purple. :D

  9. Hilarious, as always! I still can’t understand anyone’s love of blue cheese.

    I’m going to bow out of the lottery for this next round, to give someone else a chance, but I’ll be back at the same bat-time, same bat-channel.

  10. Wow. Guess transitioning to writing did wonders for my acting career! LOL Must go celebrate at K.B.’s bar. Any joiners? I’ll even bring healthy brownies.

    Thanks for another a fantastic roundup, Ellie Ann. You make the blogosphere look GOOD.

    • Ooh, wouldn’t that be a great tagline for her? Ellie Ann: making the blogosphere look GOOD. Love it! :D

  11. I simply love Tall Tale Tuesdays. They make me laugh, bring a smile to my face, confuse the heck out of me, all those fabulous emotions I’m sure August used to win her many Oscars. Fabulous job!

    I’m with K.B. and August for the tagline. You should have that tattooed on your butt. Just sayin.

  12. Tall Tale Tuesday is the only place I’ve ever been called any kind of computer expert, so thanks, even if you did call me a hacker. But I guess my face is a little RED from that.

  13. So creative, as always, Ellie!! I LOVED David’s and August’s. Awesome!!

    I have to go with my signature color…. RED!

  14. So many smiles and giggles again… Ellie Ann, your tall tales make Tuesdays worth waking up for! But perhaps this wasn’t quite your Oscar winning performance… Just call me JADEd… ;-)

  15. The Oscars and the basketball shots are awesome. My favorite would be color blue. :-)

  16. I really like that body double one. These are so fun, you make a book with them. I’d buy it!


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